the newborn stage
Note: If you’re feeling consistently low, numb, disconnected, or overwhelmed to the point where daily life feels unmanageable, this might be more than exhaustion and being ND. Postnatal depression and anxiety are really common, and they are not your fault. Please speak to your GP or a trusted health professional. You deserve support, and there is no shame in asking for it. This space shares peer stories and prompts, but it is not a replacement for professional care.
The newborn stage is supposed to be magical.
That’s what they say, anyway.
But for many neurodivergent parents, it was… something else.
Not everyone talks about what actually happens.
The shame. The panic. The overstimulation. The rage. The grief. The numbness.
The feeling of being broken in a way that no one else seemed to be.
And the hardest part? Thinking you were the only one feeling that way.
These voice notes are for anyone who kind of vanished during that time - who smiled for the photos, answered the well-meaning messages, and maybe cried into a cold cup of tea while Googling “is it normal to hate the newborn stage?”
No advice here. No tips.
These are just stories that might make you feel a bit less like you imagined the whole thing.
It was a lot. It still is. You’re not weird.
Voice Notes
ADHD
MARTA
A vulnerable account of the rage during the early months + how it relates to ADHD.
“I felt angry, if not raging at times.”
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We all know that motherhood is tough, especially when you're a first time Mum.
Let's face it, it has very little to do with how things are sometimes portrayed on social media. In theory, we all know it, but in practise we still hope it's all going to be rosy and fuss free.
I wanted my daughter more than anything in the world and fell in love with her from the very first second I held her in my arms. At the same time, I have been heavily struggling with everything motherhood related. Especially in the very first months.
Everything felt like a chore. I was getting very little fun out of it and felt very frustrated as a result. No, frustrated is actually not the right word. I felt angry, if not raging at times.
And really couldn't get rid of that feeling beyond this very first few weeks of postpartum. Yes, all those emotions are commonly shared by a lot of new Mums. But today, with my ADHD diagnosis, I know that the hormonal imbalance made those emotions more intense and prolonged in time for me.
So to all neurodivergent new Mums out there. Being a mum is the hardest job in the world and trust me, you're doing it very, very well.
Please get diagnosed and definitely don't hesitate to seek for help on all fronts.
More importantly. Be kind to yourself, you're not alone.
AuDHD
Katy
How not knowing you have neurodivergence can create a traumatic newborn phase for a mother.
“When I look back at the newborn phase, I don't look back with much joy.”
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So like for many, many women who find out they have ADHD after having a child - because they struggled so much… that was my story.
I had disliked the feeling of kicking during pregnancy when I was hyper focusing. Which was my first clue.
It was actually the extreme amount that I struggled in the newborn phase that really cemented my thoughts that I might have ADHD. I had such a horrendous time and I think there was definitely some post natal depression there, but I think that everything was exacerbated by my ADHD. Because I didn't really understand that I had it, truly, and I didn't understand what it meant. I didn't there therefore understand. why I was raging all the time. I was so extremely exhausted. I was so desperate to run away. I was so desperate for time. I felt so trapped and imprisoned.
And I feel sad when I look back now because there was so much that I wasn't able to appreciate because I was so lost. And actually, when I look back at the newborn phase, I don't look back with much joy. It feels like such a dark time for me.
And then from about six months when sleeping got better things slowly and gradually improved. By about 8 months. I was really experiencing more joy and have lots and lots of loving memories and I can look at photos from that time and not feel sadness but photos from the newborn time - I don't tend to look at them and that's it's such a shame and I think that's why women with ADHD need to understand that that isn't their fault.
The way they feel during the newborn phase is not their fault. You just haven't learned your coping mechanisms that you need to survive yet.
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Journaling prompts
Journaling on your own can be really powerful — it helps you make sense of things that feel tangled. But sometimes, especially when you’re in the thick of it (like the newborn stage), the thoughts that come up can feel overwhelming. If you’re tackling something hard, consider journaling with someone nearby. A partner in the next room. A friend on the end of the phone. You don’t have to process everything alone, especially not the big stuff. Speak to your GP or a mental health professional if you need more support. That’s not weakness — that’s care.
if you’re Still in it:
What questions have I been too scared to say out loud?
Write them, without judgement. They deserve space.
What feels “off” or unbearable right now — and what if it isn’t a flaw, but a signal?
You don’t have to fix it. Just name it.
If You’re Looking Back:
Could I write a short letter to the version of me who was in it?
What would I say to her now — knowing everything I know? Be honest. Be kind. Be real.
If I could rewrite the “newborn stage” narrative, how would I describe it now?
Real words only. No pastel-filtered memory required.
Please share your Journaling insights!
Click below if you had a ‘moment’. We’d love to hear what resonated. This helps shape future voice notes and journals.