I don’t know how to make time for me
You used to have time.
Not loads. But some.
Time to breathe. Time to recover. Time to feel like yourself.
And now it’s like your hours belong to everyone else.
People always say, “You’ve got to make time for yourself.”
But where?
How?
Who picks up the pieces if you step away?
Even five minutes in the bathroom can feel shameful.
And trying to plan an hour away - that’s a logistical nightmare.
By the time you’ve arranged childcare, packed a bag, and made a plan… it doesn’t feel worth it. Because really, you want to sit down.
And here’s the quiet truth: maybe you don’t even know what “me time” is.
Maybe, before parenting, you weren’t out doing pottery or running marathons.
Maybe you were someone who rested.
And now? Rest feels impossible. Hobbies feel fake. You don’t know who you’re supposed to be.
These voice notes are for the parents who feel like their identity has been swallowed by caregiving.
Who wonders where they went—and how to get even a piece of themselves back.
Voice Notes
AuDHD
Katy
Trying to work out how to work out what hobby you might be into when you didn’t have one before parenthood.
“I'm no longer in the driving seat of my life. I'm squashed in the back seat”
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I'd say since the birth of my daughter, I've felt really not quite sane and I was crying a lot recently and genuinely feeling very depressed like I felt there was just nothing good happening when was something good going to happen and I was listening obsessively to my new hyper focus was the Rangan Chatterjee podcast, and one of the episodes mentioned the need for joy to combat exhaustion, and so I was like, OK, I need to look into this.
But before I became a parent, I didn't really have hobbies unless you count long weekends in front of Netflix avoiding everyone and everything. And when people said make time for yourself, I honestly didn't even know where to start.
And actually there was this amazing quote. I I read on Instagram once and it said that it's not that I don't know who I am anymore, you know, after having a child, it's that I can't access who I am. I'm no longer in the driving seat of my life. I'm squashed in the back seat and it really resonated with me, so I needed something out of the house because my child was in my house.
I literally had to Google Hobbies and eventually I found this local dance fitness class and I tried a few different ones before I found the local one and it was brilliant. It was amazing. It's just people skipping around a room with joy. It was exactly what I needed and actually saying this now in true external processing, ADHD style, I'm realising that actually it is helping me start coming back into the the front seat of my life, a tiny tiny bit.
Yeah, I feel more hopeful and positive and. And so I'm probably more middle seat in the back than front seat, but I definitely have a better view of the road.
ADHD
Lucy
Figuring out your identity + balancing guilt with a busy brain.
“What did I like before? I can't remember.“
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Hi, I'm Lucy and I have an almost 3 year old little girl.
I would say that the struggle to figure out. Your identity and who you are as a person who you used to be the new version of you. That combination is such a journey and so difficult, and I feel like I'm still on that journey figuring it out. I'm still trying to get to grips with finding time for myself, but balancing that with the guilt of wanting to spend time with my daughter and really like spending time figuring out what is it that I actually like doing.
What did I like before? I can't remember.
So yeah, it's kind of such a mixture. And a confusing time where it's hard to focus and pinpoint on those things because it's emotional. But also I feel like my brain is mixed with so many different things, so many feelings and thoughts at once that I don't know how to understand those.
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Journaling prompts
What makes it hard to take time for myself right now?
Try naming the real barriers - guilt, logistics, fear of letting someone down. Let it be honest.
When I imagine time just for me… what do I actually want to do with it?
Not what you think you should do. Not what looks good on Instagram. What would genuinely feel good or fun, even for five minutes?
Before parenting, how did I feel most like myself?
Maybe it wasn’t hobbies or goals. Maybe it was lying on the sofa, or being alone. Start there.
What small thing brings me joy — not because it’s productive or useful, but just because it’s mine?
Think about the moments that feel light, silly, or peaceful. Joy doesn't have to be loud.
Please share your Journaling insights!
Click below if you had a ‘moment’. We’d love to hear what resonated. This helps shape future voice notes and journals.